I recieved this e-mail from my cousin Jeff today:
I recieved 2 emails today from clients claiming to have difficulty either sending or receiving emails. one email@example.com and the other is Name Removed..... Do you have any ideas or suggestions on what might be causing this?
So naturally I replied with this simple message:
Not unless you can give me an error message. Error messages are a really neat invention because it's a way for the computer to communicate with the human operator and tell give them ideas or suggestions on what might be causing the error. In fact, that's the only reason they exist. Most people think that error messages are just a helpful way for the computer to let the person have some quick mousing practice by clicking "OK" as quickly as possible the instant one appears. Some also believe that it's a game the computer is playing with them, like Jacks they try to be swift and accurate. They think that they've done a good job if the computer puts up multiple error messages and they're able to click them all away in one fell swoop thereby defeating the computer at it's own game. Other people still just don't comprehend the English language well if it's viewed from the front side of a phospher coated electron illuminated cathode ray tube or a backlit liquid crystal thin film transistor. These people believe that it's actually Vulcan, Klingon, or Elvish. However these languages while having a simmilar grammar structure and character sounds to Terran languages use vastly different character sets and if the computer were speaking Vulcan, Klingon, or Elvish the user would be alarmed at how funny it looks and would spend more time looking at it before clicking "OK". There is also a common disease with an unknown cause called Pebcak's Disease. This condition causes people who recieve error message ID 10T errors to immediately snap their wrist forward and index finger backward at the same time. It is apparently a disease affecting the nervous system because not only does it cause those two involuntary motions, it also wipes the previous one second from the persons memory. While the disease itself can't be directly spread to people who are uninffected the byproducts of the disease are somehow transmitted to uninfected people. These byproducts cause the secondary person to become stressed, angry and violent towards those who are infected by it. The technical term for this medical condition is Limited User Stifled End Readers (or LUSER for short). The typical reaction in sysadminis is to find a Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool and quickly bash the Luser over the head with it. Sysadmins are often heard souting "LART LART LART!!" during this activity. So no, I don't have a clue unless you give me the error message.
Will people ever learn?